I’ve mentioned K’s bathroom hijinks and habits in previous posts. That kid is convinced that I don’t need to go to the bathroom by myself ever. We do have locks but they sometimes don’t work well.
Best case scenario is that the lock holds and I have a 3 year old and 1 year old banging drum solos, singing to me, and sticking their fingers under the door while I try to relieve myself.
It actually reminds me of almost every horror movie I’ve ever seen. Although, instead of a blood thirsty monster breaking in on a hapless heroine, it is milk thirsty little cookie monsters trying to reach their bedraggled mother with demands. K always decides that when mom goes potty is the exact moment he must have a drink. (Has someone been doing weird Pavlovian experiments on my son?!)
A few weeks ago I was trying to be productive catch my breath while the kids were napping. I went to the bathroom with the expectation of actually having five minutes to myself. (Oh hindsight…)
Did I mention K has ninja abilities?
“Mom, I’m firsty! Hey, are you wearing a diaper in your big girl panties? What is that? Did you poop yourself? That’s yucky!”
No words.
I’d like to say that I calmly explained some version of “the story” to my inquisitive ninja 3 year old. I’d love to tell you that I was mature and serene and intelligent. That I knew exactly what to say. I’d really like to, but I can’t…
“I will give you a piece of your Halloween candy and some juice when I get done if you will go to the living room and stay there.”
Someday mama will put on her big girl panties and explain lady things to her son. This was not that day. He knows babies grow in their mama’s tummies and that boys and girls have different parts. He knows what a bra is. But I’m not explaining mommy diapers for a while.
Mama Miller Parenting 
This was adorable and funny. But it reminded me, for some reason, of a strange period in my life a few years ago that lasted for almost 8 or 9 months. Every time I sat on the toilet, and it isn’t like I do that a lot or for very long, my wife would call me. I started bringing the phone into the bathroom with me. Then I would start laughing, and she instantly knew where I was and what I was doing. Oh, life, you can be funny.
That is funny. I will text my husband when he goes to the bathroom sometimes. On purpose. Just to bug him. (If mama can’t pee alone, ain’t nobody peeing alone!) 😉
That is the way to pee… uh… pay it forward.
Hilarious. I loved this because I can so relate!
I’m glad I’m not the only one whose been caught with their pants down!
Such a funny story, glad you wrote it, I go through this every day! (sometimes, I talk to myself: “WHY CAN’T I GET 2 F* Minutes for myself in this house” then I just go back to normal 🙂 (no choice)
I will close the bedroom door and bathroom door. I start yelling, “Go to the living room!” when I hear the bedroom door open. Sometimes my husband will be like, “It is just me!” “I don’t care, if you come they will follow. Go away!”
ha! ha! 🙂 funny! 🙂