When Fun Mom Gets Broken

“I’m going to do something special for my kids today. It will be great. I’m totally a fun mom.”

Famous last words…

I decided to do something fun with my kids this afternoon. My oldest got out early for his last day of school before winter break. I’m not sure what malfunctioned in my brain to make me think it was a good idea to kick off two busy weeks of togetherness with a trip to the Golden Arches.

Whatever virus infected my brain must have been in the water today. I swear half the local populous also decided to visit the land of fries and McJunk. It was a madhouse.

I got the kids inside and seated while I tried to order our lunch. F would not stay at the table. He was fixated on the Christmas tree in the middle of the place. K and E kept trying to sneak away to a table with a computer touchscreen game (that was already inhabited by people).

Oh, and there was a older lady in a motorized scooter that wouldn’t leave us alone. We’ll call her Grammy Creeper.

So, I feel for Grammy Creeper. I really do. She seemed lonely. I don’t mind chatting with people or letting them talk to my kids. However, she earned her new moniker with her desire to mother my kiddos.

I was trying to dole out questionable chicken and French fries and Grammy rolls on over to our table. She started telling me how to set up their food. F wanted down and she grabbed his toy, knocking a container of ranch dressing on the floor in the process, and told him he couldn’t have his toy if he didn’t eat.

I was floored… She took my two year old’s toy. My two year old who just woke up was not pleased with this. She also told E that she would use her mean grandma voice and then went on about her 11 grandbabies.

At that point I was conflicted between my desire to be kind and my desire to ask her to go away. She just kept coming by our table. It was so awkward.

So now we are eating quickly and trying to get out of there. We are almost out the door and E had to potty. While she is pottying, K finds an open computer. F goes to the Christmas tree again.

I finally got all three kids back to the car.

“I am still hungry. I want an ice cream.”

-_-

I’m sure a scene like this has played out for every mom everywhere. Those days that your “fun days” are anything but fun. Days when crafts end up looking like poo or everyone turns into a whiny mess.

I remember my grandpa telling us, “We’re going to have fun dammit!”

Just know sweet mamas, some days our inner fun mom gets broken. You can’t help tantrums or crowds or people with boundary issues. Some days you cut bait and quit while your ahead.

I had planned to go to Target after our lunch. Nope. We came home and decided watch movies. Now this is fun.

-Cori “Mama” Miller

Kindness Challenge

As a Christian I am called to show kindness to others. We are told to bless others and take care of the orphans and widows.

I am infinitely fortunate to be married to one of the most giving and kind men I know. He has a heart for the homeless. I love that he is teaching our children to give when they can and to pray for others.

Now I am officially challenging you to go out and spread some kindness. Whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jew, Atheist, or anything in between: go out and do something. Our world can use a little more kindness.

• Leave baggies of change on vending machines (especially in hospitals)
• Pay for the person behind you when you get coffee or fast food
• Keep large ziplocks of toiletries and food to hand to the homeless
• Make cards to send our troops
• Collect school supplies for local teachers
• Leave baggies of change on machines at the laundromat
• Have a pizza delivered to a friend having a rough day
• Purchase a gift card and hand it to someone in the grocery store
• Give a big tip to your waiter/waitress
• Donate toys or do an angel tree
• Take socks and toiletries to a shelter

And some ideas that don’t cost anything:

• Offer to watch a parent’s kids so they can go shopping or wrap presents
• Volunteer time at an animal shelter
• Offer to walk an elderly neighbor’s dog
• Spend some time at a nursing home
• Offer to read to kids at the library
• Donate (gently used, good condition) clothing to a shelter
• Be a nice person

Go out there and do something! Don’t take pictures and toot your own horn. Just spread some kindness. Find little ways every day to bless those around you.

Love,

Cori “Mama” Miller

Let It Go

We took the kids to the mall today for some holiday shopping. ThinkGeek opened a store. It is completely magical.

Magical

After dividing and conquering our shopping, we all met back up by the Penny’s elevator. E had finally grown tired of annoying K and decided to play matchmaker. She really really wanted Poppy to kiss Nana. Nana and Poppy love each other, but didn’t really want to give into the demands of a wild 4 year old in the middle of Penny’s.

 

“Poppy! Give Nana a flower! Kiss her Poppy!”

There was a man waiting with us. He witnessed all of this. E’s pleas continued until the elevator opened. We all file in and Poppy told E, “Let it go!”

And then K bursts into song. Yes, that song. Loudly. On the elevator. So so loud.

I’d feel bad about the man who actually thought getting into an elevator with my three kids was a good idea, but he seemed to get a good laugh out of it.

– Cori “Mama” Miller

 

A New Life

It has been far too long.

Since I last wrote life has gone on, but also changed. Somewhere along the way I let depression take my voice. Every time I started to write, a whisper in my mind would say, “Why bother?”

But life doesn’t stop when you are battling depression. Postpartum depression and PMDD don’t make your babies stop growing any faster. They don’t slow down the steady cadence of time.

So here we are almost two years later. I’m still fighting to regain myself. Some days are better than others. Overall I am happy. I still have the best husband ever and three beautiful kiddos.

Our New Normal

So an update on life…

I’m now 30. I kind of thought I’d feel more adult-y at this point. Growing up is a much slower process than I’d ever imagined… Until I hang around teenagers. Then I feel all sorts of adult.

We have lived in “the old house” for two years now. We still have our rescue dog, Miri. I’m a stay at home mom.

K is now 6 and in the first grade. He is completely obsessed with Minecraft and Star Wars. He is still the funniest kid ever. He has an amazing teacher who really does well with his quirkiness.

E is 4 and still our fearless, sometimes vexingly so, child. She plays guitar and loves to sing. (In this case “plays guitar” means she stands on a chair while furiously strumming her little pink guitar and singing made up songs.)

Baby F is now a hybrid toddler/zombie/dinosaur. He enjoys roaring at people and trying to eat their brains. He has remained significantly more petite than his giant siblings. He is my little buddy.

Life with three kids is still an entirely new beast from having 1 or 2. I will never “just run into the store” ever again. A trip now involves one of those behemoth carts that has the turning radius of an AT-AT. It also involves threats on screen time and frequently repeating “don’t touch that” and “come back here”.

In fact I recently said the most mom thing I’ve ever uttered on a trip to the store. I looked up to find E chasing K down the aisle. I finally got them back to the cart. K told me E had started chasing him.

I actually heard the phrase, “I don’t care who started it. I’m finishing it.” Then I realized that it has come from me. I said that.

I’m pretty sure my mom must have felt a disturbance in the force and shed a single proud tear.

So that is where I am for now. I’m momming it up and doing the best I can with my own little circus.

-Cori “Mama” Miller

If you or someone you know is suffering from postpartum depression or premenstrual dysphoric disorder, please don’t stay silent or let them go it alone. Talking to others and reaching out for help is so so important.