It happens so often. In grocery stores and malls and parks everywhere. People asking the question that brings prickly stress and annoyance to my soul.
“Is he/she a good baby?”
What does that even mean?!
Please stop asking new moms this question. Just don’t.
Every baby is a good baby.
A baby who sleeps through the night from 4 weeks does not possess more ‘goodness’ than a baby with colic who barely sleeps for the first year.
They are babies. Innocent. Perfect. Beautiful.
There is no such thing as a bad baby.
Some babies are, however, easier than others. It doesn’t make them good.
Some are clingy or have high needs. Being difficult doesn’t make them bad.
Please, I beg you, don’t ask it. It is inappropriate and can make new moms feel awkward. A mom with a high needs baby already has seeds of insecurity about their abilities. Questions like this only help that insecurity grow.
Don’t ask if they’re sleeping through the night yet. Or if they are on an eating schedule.
Ask them how they’re doing.
Ask them if you can do anything to help them out.
Ask if you can pray for them or with them about anything.
Or just tell them what a great job they’re doing.
New moms are incredibly strong and incredibly fragile. They are precious like their sweet babes. Let’s build them up. Growing healthy moms benefits us all. Their weary, beautiful hands are shaping the next generation.
With love,
Mama Miller
P.S. Baby F is doing well. He eats when he eats. He sleeps when he sleeps. He smiles and he cries. He gives great snuggles. He, like all babies, is a good baby.