Mama Miller Parenting

Passionate parenting and homemaking.

Not a helicopter

on August 10, 2017

Tonight was a rough night for us as parents and it began last week…

We took our kiddos to registration night on Friday. We logically went to school where K has attended for the last 3 years.

Why would we have thought any different?

Upon arriving we were told that our address was now listested as attending the other elementary school for our district. In fact, our whole little neighborhood was. The principal was also confused but would not allow us to register.

Long story short… After a lot of tears and phone calls we found out we are offically rezoned and had to register both kids with the other elementary.

So not only is E starting Kindergarten but K has to start an entirely new school.

Guys…I’m tired.

Some have been with us through our process of getting Konner diagnosed. The admins and teachers of his school have been with us. It has taken so much trial and error, advocacy and tears, phone calls and meetings to get us where we are…where we were.

I feel like a child who has lost her favorite shoes. I understand the new shoes are good shoes. But I don’t want new shoes. I want my old comfortable shoes. My old ones weren’t perfect but they were broken in and I knew what to expect when I slipped them on.

So tonight was Meet the Teacher Night.

K was distraught on Friday but did really well tonight. He wanted to go into every room and touch all the things but he has calmed a bit to the idea of a new school. E also seems to be excited about her teacher.

I was a wreck.

It was so busy and K’s 504 hasn’t been sent over yet. I was trying to discretely pull teachers aside to tell them about his diagnosis and needs. They don’t know that he panics when there is a fire drill or that he needs a chewable pencil topper to keep him from chewing holes in his shirts. They don’t know to keep his supplies separate from his desk so he doesn’t play with them all the time. They don’t have the advantage of every admin knowing him and when he needs a sensory break to calm down.

I’m sure I seemed like a crazed helicopter mom to some. But I’m realizing that sometimes when you have a child with certain needs you have to be a little pushy. Being an advocate for your child sometimes means asking a lot of questions and writing a lot of emails.

I’m ok with tough love and learning through play. I don’t stand right next to them as they scamper up the slide at the play ground. If they fall I wait to see if they are hurt or if they are going to just pop up and brush it off. I make them learn how to do things for themselves…

But the thought of losing all our progress is terrifying. We’ve worked so hard and come so far to lose ground now. I hope they pardon me if I seem hypervigilant for a bit. I won’t hover but I will hold my breath until things settle into place. And I’m sure they will all know my face within a few weeks.

So here is to all the other advocate-not-helicopter parents preparing for battle as the new school year begins. May you have every bit of luck with 504s and IEPs and counselor meetings. We raise our noise canceling headphones and sensory necklaces to you. Keep fighting the good fight.

With Love,

Mama Miller

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3 responses to “Not a helicopter

  1. 1. How could they not tell y’all sooner so you’d at least have had more time to prepare? Ugh.
    2. It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job. Don’t worry about the helicopter label – you’re an advocate and your kiddos are lucky to have you!

    • I really wish we had been given some notice. Apparently our little area was rezoned in 2014 but it was never enforced. Then one of our neighbors requested bus services and they rediscovered it. They might have let just K stay at his original school but would have made Eily start at our zoned school. So both have to go. Its so frustrating.

      We had already bought supplies based on the list from the original school too.

  2. JJ Burry says:

    Teachers generally get information on students quickly when they transfer at the beginning of the year. I hope that is the case for K, so you can have the important discussions with his teacher(s) before he even starts.

    Good luck!

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