Mama Miller Parenting

Passionate parenting and homemaking.

Visiting the “Library”

on October 25, 2012

In my experience with having a dad, older brothers, a husband, a son, a nephew, and younger male cousins I have learned a few things about male restroom habits…

1. Farts are always amusing to men- no age restrictions apply.
2. Part of bonding with nature is peeing outside.
3. Men take infinitely longer to achieve their bathroom goals than women.
4. They do not notice empty toilet paper rolls.
5. If they are required to sit for any amount of time to do their business, they want some form of entertainment.

If you, dear male readers, do not fit these general rules, consider yourself an exception and secretly think of all the exhaustive lists you could make on strange female behavior.

Today we focus on #5…

I have distinct childhood memories of my dad telling me he had to go to the “library” and disappearing into the restroom with a book. My husband also keeps a weird facts book on reserve on the bathroom shelf.

When potty training K he refused to go poop in the potty. Bribing with M&Ms worked for pee, but he got bored and refused to sit long enough for pooping. We finally got our first big break when we started singing and reading books while he sat. He had a favorite book at the time- Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman. (About a baby bird looking for its mother.)

Pretty soon we had a potty trained 2 year old that let you know he had to go by yelling, “Mom, I have to poop! Go get my bird book!” It didn’t matter where we were at the time.

*sigh*

Kids are often loud. It is also a well known fact that mom’s are rarely afforded the luxury of peeing alone.

Today I was in the restroom and a book fell off the shelf. K busted in and saw me picking it up.

“Mommy, that is Daddy’s book! We don’t read books when we go pee, Mom. We only read books In the bathroom when we’re poopin’! Are you poopin’ Mom?”

“… Please just go to the living room.”

“I’ll sing to you! Da da da Afro Circus I like to move it move it polka polka dot polka dot move it!”

“…”

“Bye Mom! Remember to flush, dress, and wash.”

My husband called on his lunch break. I relayed the story and he told me it was too funny not to blog. I hope everyone got a good chuckle from my embarrassment.

K reading his potty book:

20121025-122543.jpg
Bonding with nature when we visited Texas Hill Country:

20121025-122706.jpg
The original of this picture will be saved to show his future wife upon his engagement. The fiancΓ© gets to see all the really awesomely embarrassing pictures. (My mom-in-law busted out the baby albums that Andy had banned after we got engaged. I must carry on the proud tradition.)

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11 responses to “Visiting the “Library”

  1. Your list is dead on!
    The bathroom is a calm and quiet place and therefore perfect for reading. So, I love to read while going. Without something to read, I find it hard to sit. I lose patience.

    • Women sit for everything, so I guess we just don’t care. Plus, being a mom, I rarely get to go without little people breaking in or yelling at me through the door. I’m glad I made my list accurate though! πŸ™‚

  2. "k" says:

    love the book “are you my mother”

  3. Your list is funny but so true, I have my dad, 2 brothers, my nephew, my hubby and my son and they are all the same! TOO Funny! πŸ™‚ & so funny you will be saving all those pictures for his future wife! πŸ™‚

    • Thank you! I will definitely be saving the embarrassing pics of both kids. I got to see the picture of Andy standing on his toy box looking out the window in ONLY cowboy boots and a hat. He got to see the one of me in princess underwear with a crown, Miss America sash, and a holding a wand over my head. (Both of us under 5.) The perks of marriage. πŸ˜‰

      • ha! ha! πŸ™‚ u right! my mother-in-law had so many for me (on our second date, she showed them all to me) !!! πŸ™‚

      • I had to wait until we were engaged for the really good ones. She pulled out the ones Andy approved before then but when we came in for Christmas after getting engaged I got to see the rest. I was family at that point and his veto no longer applied. They were cute. Now I have a mini-Andy. K is soooo much like his dad.

      • πŸ™‚ too funny ! πŸ™‚ now I own the album of my hubby’s most embarrassing pictures πŸ™‚ and I think is a good idea keeping them for my son too! πŸ™‚

  4. Too true! Thanks for making me smile and laugh πŸ™‚ One day I caught my daughter standing in front of the toilet struggling to get her pants down – or so I thought! – no, she was trying to pull them down just far enough to pee standing up like daddy and little brother πŸ˜‰ I got there just in time to prevent a major mess! Oh, and I read to both of mine on the potty too when I was trying to get them to sit long enough to ‘perform’. Great post!

  5. […] mentioned K’s bathroom hijinks and habits in previous posts. That kid is convinced that I don’t need to go to the bathroom […]

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