Visiting the “Library”

In my experience with having a dad, older brothers, a husband, a son, a nephew, and younger male cousins I have learned a few things about male restroom habits…

1. Farts are always amusing to men- no age restrictions apply.
2. Part of bonding with nature is peeing outside.
3. Men take infinitely longer to achieve their bathroom goals than women.
4. They do not notice empty toilet paper rolls.
5. If they are required to sit for any amount of time to do their business, they want some form of entertainment.

If you, dear male readers, do not fit these general rules, consider yourself an exception and secretly think of all the exhaustive lists you could make on strange female behavior.

Today we focus on #5…

I have distinct childhood memories of my dad telling me he had to go to the “library” and disappearing into the restroom with a book. My husband also keeps a weird facts book on reserve on the bathroom shelf.

When potty training K he refused to go poop in the potty. Bribing with M&Ms worked for pee, but he got bored and refused to sit long enough for pooping. We finally got our first big break when we started singing and reading books while he sat. He had a favorite book at the time- Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman. (About a baby bird looking for its mother.)

Pretty soon we had a potty trained 2 year old that let you know he had to go by yelling, “Mom, I have to poop! Go get my bird book!” It didn’t matter where we were at the time.

*sigh*

Kids are often loud. It is also a well known fact that mom’s are rarely afforded the luxury of peeing alone.

Today I was in the restroom and a book fell off the shelf. K busted in and saw me picking it up.

“Mommy, that is Daddy’s book! We don’t read books when we go pee, Mom. We only read books In the bathroom when we’re poopin’! Are you poopin’ Mom?”

“… Please just go to the living room.”

“I’ll sing to you! Da da da Afro Circus I like to move it move it polka polka dot polka dot move it!”

“…”

“Bye Mom! Remember to flush, dress, and wash.”

My husband called on his lunch break. I relayed the story and he told me it was too funny not to blog. I hope everyone got a good chuckle from my embarrassment.

K reading his potty book:

Bonding with nature when we visited Texas Hill Country:

The original of this picture will be saved to show his future wife upon his engagement. The fiancé gets to see all the really awesomely embarrassing pictures. (My mom-in-law busted out the baby albums that Andy had banned after we got engaged. I must carry on the proud tradition.)

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