Mama Miller Parenting

Passionate parenting and homemaking.

Sibling Love

on July 29, 2013

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My sweet husband and I have a serious disadvantage in this whole parenting thing…

You see, he was an only child and, while I am one of five, my closest siblings are five years older and eight years younger than me respectively.

We knew we wanted children (as in plural) and wanted them to be closer in age, but neither of us had a clue as to what having close siblings would be like. K and E are 2 years and three months apart. So far we have concluded that having a close sibling means lots of tears over wanting the same toy at the same time.

K leaves a toy out and E picks it up. K throws a minor hissy fit and tries to swipe it back. E full on tackles K and proceeds to kiss/lick/bite him until she gets it back. We separate them and tell E ‘no biting’ for the five thousandth time. And we tell K that if he leaves a toy out instead of putting back in his room he has to share for the twelve thousandth time.

Every day. Many times a day.

Occasionally K gets his feelings hurt by things his sister has said…

E: Ha ha *gibberish* ball mouse bubba.
K: Sister said I’m a pink princess instead of a Jedi! *loud fake crying*

He must be fluent in toddlerese.

They do fight everyday (multiple times a day), but they also love each other deeply…

Last night sister was trying to step on terrorize brother. He was actually the innocent party this time. He had been quietly playing his game and she wanted to use him as a trampoline. Most people, especially 4 year olds, don’t appreciate feet on their faces.

I let K go back to the play room to watch a movie in peace and made E stay with me. She was not happy with this at all. I called Nonna and she proceeded to tattle on me to my mom.

E: Mama mean. Want bubba! My bubba!
Nonna: Really? Mama did that?
E: Uh huh… *sniffle* bubba…

I finally got her calmed down. After about 20 minutes of separation, K came back in the living room.

K: Mom, I think sister can play nice now.

He took her little hand and they went back to the play room together. I waited for yelling, but there was none. I did the stealthy mom and spied on them from the window between the kitchen and play room. They were sitting on their bean bag chairs next to each other, sharing a blanket, and watching Mulan.

My mommy heart melted.

They continued to play and watch the movie peacefully for well over an hour. It’s was past their bedtimes, but I just didn’t have the heart to break it up.

I have no doubt that in a couple of years, when Baby F is a toddler, I will be breaking up epic three way sibling smack downs- but I’ll also get to play mommy ninja and spy them loving each other.

Some Most days are tiring. Fights. Demands from small dictators. Acts of tiny terrorism. But, you have to keep looking for those special moments. They’re there. You may just be too busy catching your breath to notice.

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24 responses to “Sibling Love

  1. momtimes4 says:

    Sibling fights are a daily occurrence in our house. My first three children are very close in age, so there are days that I feel like a referee and I want to hide. 🙂

    • We will have two years between each. I have a feeling I will be doning my referee mom hat a lot. I fought a little with my siblings, but we were just so spread out. It really has been a totally new experience.

  2. Valerie says:

    My big kids are almost four years apart and then, of course, we have Samuel who was born almost eight years later (not my fault! I would’ve chosen for him to be born sooner) Anyway, because of the gap, I haven’t experienced parenting little ones close in age. I WANTED to, but I didn’t get to. While it has made life easier (especially with Sam as a baby), they’ve also never been in the same stage at the same time, which is hard! And throw in that they’re different genders, and you have totally different kids at all times!
    I think having little ones close together is nice for when they’re older, but probably hard when they’re younger – for mommy. 😉 Your children sound very sweet and like they are going to be even closer as they get older. ❤

    • It is exhausting, but fun. He was just old enough to be helpful when she was a baby. She adores him, but likes to show it by climbing all over him. I was surprised by their personalities. He is my dramatic kid and she is the rough one!

  3. Jessica S says:

    Aww… My sister and I were 11 months (to the day) apart from each other. I wish I could give my DD a sibling, so we had bittersweet memories like this one. 😦 Your little boy sounds very attentive to his sister. I thought older brothers just picked on their younger sisters until one or the other fell asleep. LOL. You’re kids sound really sweet!!

    • Thank you. I thought bigger siblings did the picking too, but she is my instigator! My little sister is 8 years younger than me. We are close, but not in the same way as those who truly grew up together. It amazing to see different dynamics. My husband occasionally regrets not having siblings, but he learned to grow deep friendships with others. He became an honorary brother to many. He enjoys being an uncle to my siblings’ children and to our friends’ children.

  4. Jene Gravley says:

    Cori – Three little ones is going to be a whole different ball game. And not just while they’re little, it goes on for a long time before they become confidants again as teen years approach. My three children are two years apart. My strongest memories of them in the earlier years are the alliances. I never knew whose side anyone was on. Two of them had an alliance and the third was “out”. But the alliances changed almost daily and that went on for a long time. Be forewarned!
    Love,
    Grandma Jene

  5. My kids are 6 years apart and they still fight over a single toy! LOL

  6. lynnc2010 says:

    Three close together definitely changes the dynamic! Mine are currently 31 months, 16 months and 2 months. Everyday’s an adventure and a half. I love for the sweet moments!

    • I’m excited for our next one to be here, but I’m already tired! Our oldest turned 4 in June, our daughter will be 2 in mid September, and our baby boy will be here two weeks later. Oh my.

  7. Winding road says:

    Oh, you are so right. My 2 argue/squeal/fight a lot! But those moments when they play quietly and cooperatively or run around giggling playing just make my heart burst!

  8. I feel you! My older two are 17 1/2 months apart and have a very strong love/hate relationship. There’s not a lot of middle ground so I really cherish the loving moments when they do come around! 🙂

  9. Persephone says:

    Small dictators and tiny terrorism, love it!

  10. Oh yes, my older two fight all of the time….the youngest is just starting to get in on the action….it’s really fun!!!

  11. erikamari says:

    Yea I am one of three. I have an older brother (3 years) and a younger sister (year and five months). My mom liked to describe us all as “fighting one minute and kissing each others butts the next”. But even if I “hated” them, it never changed the fact that we were best friends. We could (and still do) go to each other for anything and I wouldn’t trade them. They keep me grounded. And 3! What a great number of kids to have lol that’s my magic kid number 😉

    • We decided that 3 is a good limit for us. The ol’ oven is being shut down after this one. Because of my ovarian condition, I worry about any pregnancies past this one. We may look into fostering or adopting when our kids are older.

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