Mama Miller Parenting

Passionate parenting and homemaking.

Those Pesky Storks

on February 4, 2013

I have a confession: I am a snarky sarcastic person. I come by it naturally. My family is full of sarcastic southern women. In Texas “bless your heart” is the southern lady way of calling you dumb. The poor men in our lives never stood a chance.

My dad is notoriously bad about forgetting to signal and after being teased one day by my mom and little sister about this, he decided to announce that he had actually used his turn signal. Without skipping a beat my sister replied, “Do you want a sticker?”

In an effort to not be a jerk and live up to my goal of choosing love, I try to reign in my remarks. They still jump into my head but I really do try to use my filter on what escapes my lips…

Pregnancy hormones are not helping my desire to be a nice person. Pregnancy hormones and the fact that my jeans are already too tight to button are contributing to a fast growing hole in the filter between my brain and mouth.

We’ve had several (well-meaning perfectly nice) people tell us we need to “figure out what causes that” in reference to our third pregnancy. I know they think they are being sweet or funny but my snarky pregnant brain comes up with three possible responses:

We have this pesky stork infestation. I think we need to spray.

You know, we’ve been married for five years but I’m still fuzzy on the details. Could you explain it to me?

I’m told, barring turkey basters, medical intervention, or immaculate conception, that it is usually sex. Sexy baby making sex.

So far none of those responses have made it past my filter but it is becoming very tempting!

In other Miller news:
E has enough hair for tiny pigtails now!

And my kids have discovered the joys of playing dress-up.

K got his Captain America outfit for Christmas and has worn it so much that it is getting runs and holes. E got several dresses for Christmas as well. K has decided that she is “Princess Thor”.

10 responses to “Those Pesky Storks

  1. I am naturally sarcastic too (definitely a Southern thing) and by the time I was pregnant with my 3rd, I gave up trying to be sweet to the people who dared comment on my “condition” 🙂 You are better than me, though I did always add a “bless your heart” to the end of any retort!

  2. kerihouchin says:

    Aww, let them have it and blame the hormones! Just wait until you stop having babies. Then people will constantly ask you why you aren’t pregnant.

    • You just can’t win either way!

      I need a shirt made for future grocery store trips:
      YES, I know “what causes that”. (Sex… Usually it is sex.)
      YES, I am married. (I see you glancing at my ring finger.)
      YES, I will “have my hands full”. (Every parent on the planet does as well.)
      NO, you may not touch my belly. (I bite.)

  3. I am also very much a sarcastic/snary person. It is hard to turn off an on and can come off wrong. It’s dangerous as I am a teacher and need to be careful. Not easy.
    Good luck with the new baby.

    • Thanks! I have to reign it in when I’m substitute teaching. It was also difficult as a social worker. Luckily my family communicates love through sarcasm and quoting Disney movies.

  4. Valerie says:

    The filter gets thinner as the belly gets bigger! Or at least that has been my experience. 😛

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