Dream big… While napping.

My parents have one of my nieces for the night and asked if my son could tag along to give her a playmate. So I woke up this morning knowing I’d be down by one child. I was, however, happily surprised when my dad decided to take E as well. I think her charms won Papaw over. (She very sweetly requested her shoes.)

While I love my kids and will miss them by tomorrow, time alone has been rare since the move and my full-time transition to being a stay at home mom. My husband doesn’t leave for work until later this afternoon, so we are looking at several hours of no kids (besides Baby F the womb squatter).

“I can fold laundry without the kids unfolding it!”

“We can take a nap! Or go to the bathroom without anyone else in there.”

“Let’s have a 10th Kingdom marathon.”

Dream big people. Dream big.

My plans for today...

Now what am I going to do with myself once my husband leaves for work? Probably eat oatmeal for supper (followed by ice cream), watch trash TV, fold laundry, and pass out on the couch by 9PM… And it sounds wonderful.

***After posting, we realized E left us a present. Her new favorite hobby is hiding dog food in the oven. Since it has happened a few times now, you’d think we’d check before turning the oven on… You’d be wrong. We forget about how much she enjoys toasting kibble for Miri… Until we turn the oven on to preheat and start getting weird aromas drifting our of the kitchen.

Thanks kid. Have fun with Nonna and Papaw. Please don’t put kibble in their oven!***

Mmm, burned kibble and cinnamon rolls!

Coming out of the darkness

It has been far too long. So much has happened. My new pregnancy is now in the third trimester and we are having a boy. We finally moved into the “old house”. K is now a 4 year old. E is a busy almost 2 year old. I am now a full-time stay at home/work at home mom.

All great things and beautiful things, but I have struggled with writing them down. I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression several months after E was born. When Baby F (his new distinction) was conceived, I had to get off the medication that had helped me battle the ‘stress in my shoulder blades’ and feelings of dread.

My anxiety is not completely out of control or severe in comparison with many, but it seems like this pregnancy has been very hard. Everything seems too loud and bright and I often feel grey in a world of Technicolor. I would begin to write and lose the words. I kept telling myself that I would write soon, but I looked up today and realized it had been almost 5 months. I’ve been too stressed to do one of the things that helped me deal with stress in the first place.

Well, I’m back. I found words again today. Hopefully that is a good sign that I am starting to get a grip on normal, or at least adjusting to my new normal. Everything is going well with Baby F. I am anemic and often tired, but healthy overall. My sweet husband has been an amazing help in all this. I have days where I question my ability to be a mom of three, but God has been reminding me that he brought me here, to this place in life, for a reason.

I’m hoping to begin reading my favorite blogs again soon too. I’ve missed your voices, ideas, and stories- but reading them reminded me of my failure to write.

Much Love,
Mama Miller

Our old house.

E and K on the 4th.

Our new addition, Miri the big red dog.

Baby Bump