Mama Miller’s Rules of the Road

I don’t know what is going on with K lately. He hasn’t had an accident in months, but in the past two days he has peed all over the bathroom and all over his carseat.

I’m not sure if K is acting out because of our weird schedule change this week or if he has just lost his mind. My mom’s theory is that boys, especially three year old boys, are gross. I’m just going to go with that.

Boys are gross.

Anyway, our car fiasco reminded me of our car rules.

Mama Miller’s Rules of the Road

1. If you start the car to cool it down or warm it up (depending on your location) while you load the kids, always always roll the driver’s window down.

This rule came about this summer. One particularly hot and blustery day I started the car, left the door open, and loaded K. I walked around to load E and found the doors had locked. At that moment a gust of wind blew the door shut. K, my keys, and my phone were all locked inside the car. I was able to shout through the glass and talked K through unbuckling himself, climbing in the front, and hitting the window button.

2. Keep two towels in the car.

Kids are gross. Barf, pee, and poop can will happen. If you have two old towels, you can use one to clean up any unfortunate accidents and use the other as a drop cloth over a gross carseat.

3. There is no screaming in the car… ever.

I’ve explained to K many times that being loud in the car isn’t safe. It makes it hard for mommy and daddy to drive.

4. If you drop it while I’m driving, it is gone until we get there.

I’ve explained this safety issue many times. “I know you really want your car/juice/book, but mommy can’t reach it while she is driving.”

5. Don’t give sleepy kids drinks.

One red Sonic slush is all it takes… Oh the horror.

6. If you don’t like the song, don’t listen.

We listen to kid music a lot in the car but sometimes a song will come on that K doesn’t like. I will not try to change songs while driving. If he complains I tell him not to listen and that it will pass.

7. Make kids pee before leaving.

Even a shot trip. Every time. If they say they don’t have to go, they’re lying. As soon as you get a half mile from home they will need to pee.

8. Try really hard to watch what you say while driving.

Kids are parrots. I realized this one day when K yelled at another car, “Are you kidding me?! You make us wreck you idiot!!”

Anyone else have any road rules to add?

K was an early driver…

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