Mama Miller Parenting

Passionate parenting and homemaking.

Domestically Impared

I absolutely adore being a stay at home mom. It is by far the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I’m good with wiping noses and bottoms. Tantrums suck, but they happen.

Am I a good mom? Eh, overall I do ok.

A good wife? I try.

But a domestic goddess I am not.

My perfect housekeeping gene is broken. I’m domestically impaired. I keep a decently clean house, but I will never have my home on the cover of Good Housekeeping.

It is okay. I have other talents. I’ve made peace with the toys on the floor. (One day my children will call when their foot is impaled by a Lego one of their kids left out… And I’ll smile.) I’m not going to fret over my bookshelf being jumbled. (It will just get jumbled again.)

If you are a domestic goddess, I applaud you. I’m glad you are using your talent. Keep on scrubbing and changing decorations to fit the seasons and creating elaborate lunch box dioramas for your kids’ lunches. (That is what you do, right?)

This post is for the rest of us. For those who don’t care about “Tablescapes” or “Perfect Parsnip Soup”.

I submit for approval from my domestically challenged sisters my idea for a new magazine: Mediocre Housekeeping.
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Article ideas:

How to Avoid Your Home Looking Like an Episode of Hoarders

Best Deodorants: When you haven’t had a shower in three days and may be harboring cereal fugitives in your hair

Strategies for Peeing Alone: A guide to getting 5 minutes a day to urinate in peace

How to Have Adequate “Adult Time” When the Baby Will Wake Any Minute: It won’t knock his socks off, but it’ll do.

I am covered in sleeping kids and I have to pee. What now?

Surviving the Tantrum: When your child collapses in the bread aisle.

How many days can I wear these yoga pants before I need to wash them?

Where are Max and Ruby’s parents? An investigation.

A Guide to Period Panties

Breastfeeding Etiquette: Just deal with it or look away.

Getting three kids and a dog into the car

Where do all the socks go?

Yep… I’d read that magazine.

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To Infinity and Beyond

I was cleaning the living room and suddenly I heard wailing from the kids bathroom. K runs out clearly distressed with wet hands.

Picture a sobbing 3 year old telling this story.

“I don’t ba-weeve it! I just don’t ba-weeve dis! Buzz is gone!”

“What happened?”

“Buzz flushed down the toilet!”

“Your little Buzz Lightyear?”

“Yes!! I don’t ba-weeve it. He’s goooooone!!!”

“Why was Buzz in the toilet?”

“He flew in there and I flushed it. I don’t ba-weeve it!”

“Why did you flush him?”

“Because I tried to catch him but he was goooone!”

“You flushed it and then tried to catch him? You stuck your hands in the potty?”

“Yes, but I missed him and he’s gone! I don’t ba-weeve it!”

We scrubbed down his hands and had a long conversation about what goes in the toilet and what doesn’t. Later I caught him talking to his toy…

“Hi Power Ranger Guy. I will play with you because you are a toy. I won’t flush you down the toilet because you aren’t pee. I promise.”

He cracks me up. It was heart breaking and hilarious at the same time. It was a very small action figure but I refused to flush that toilet again until Andy was home. I wasn’t taking any chances on Buzz bringing back unspeakable horrors from the beyond.

Thank you all for being patient with me this week. My grandma is in the hospital. E is teething. The internet is having issues. We have practices and family events out the wazoo. We are working on cabinets for the “Old House”. I’m also making almost all our gifts at home this year. I promise I’ll catch up on reading all your amazing blogs soon! Here are a few pictures from the past couple weeks…

E with seven bows on her head:

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K and E visiting the big man in red:

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My sweet niece’s birthday:

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The car show:

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Making cool crayons:

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Have a blessed holiday season! I’ll be on when possible. I love Christmas but I think I need a holiday from the holiday season.

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Kid Logic

I am so blessed. I get to hang out with the funniest kids ever.

As I mentioned yesterday, we had our dearest friends staying with us on Monday night. They have great kids. Their son, Bug*, is about a year a half older than K. Their daughter, Bird*, is almost 2. She is actually EXACTLY one year older than E. How cool is that?! We have little birthday buddies.

Here are a few gems of awesome kid humor from the past couple days:

Playing with Fire
Bug and K were having a picnic under the table in their “Bat Cave”. I had put blankets over the table and used tape to stick fake candles to the underside of the table. Bug looked up at the fake candles and got very concerned.

Bug: Um… Aunt Cori, why is there fire under your table? You are not supposed to have fire under your table.
Me: It is ok. They are fake candles. It isn’t real fire.
Bug tentatively touches the candle: Oh… I guess it is fake fire.

Name Sharing
After the other kids were napping, Bug was laying in the living room and watching My Fair Wedding with me. The groom on the episode was named Kory.

Bug: That show is talking about you Aunt Cori!
Me: No Bug, that man’s name is Kory. He is a boy Kory.
Bug: Why is that man trying to be Aunt Cori? That is silly. He isn’t Aunt Cori.
Me: No Bug. He just has the same name as me.
Bug: Oh… I don’t want to share my name.

It’s Only Logical
K was supposed to be getting dressed this morning and after 10 minutes ran in the living room wearing only a t-shirt.

Me: Why aren’t you wearing any underpants?
K in an exasperated voice: Because I have my jacket!

Well sure. That makes perfect sense.

Not What I Meant
K runs into the living room- again without pants. (I’m seeing a pattern today.)

K: I’m done poopin’ Mom!
Me: No bud! Please don’t get off the potty. Just call me from the toilet and I’ll come help you.
K yelling as he runs back to the bathroom: MOM! I POOPED! I’M DONE! COME HELP! See? I called you.

*face palm*

There is never a dull moment around these kids. Motherhood/aunthood is anything but boring.

While they were here both boys wore their Batman shirts. I don’t think they’ve ever seen Batman but they know he is a super hero. Of course we had to make the table into a fort/bat cave. We also did picture sticker art. (Let the kids pick out a few stickers and color a picture around them.)

We miss them already. Living across the state from friends is a bit more difficult when the state is Texas.

*I am sure you have guessed by now that I don’t use my kids’ full names in my blog for the sake of privacy. Out of respect for our friends’, I have used their children’s nicknames.

**Oh, and I got my computer back! Yay! *Insert happy dance here*

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