Mama Miller Parenting

Passionate parenting and homemaking.

I don’t negotiate with terrorists

on October 17, 2012

terrorize- to coerce through intimidation

terrorist- a person who terrorizes or frightens others

I am in no way claiming my son is on par with terrorist groups or making light of the horrors of true terrorism. However, by those definitions what toddler/preschooler has not to an extent terrorized their household?

I have a strict policy of not negotiating with terrorists. When stomping, screaming, hitting, or destruction of property are taking place I will not try to rationalize. I will carry the little ball of anger to his room. The message is always the same…

“I cannot understand you when you scream like that. It hurts my ears. When you calm down, we can try talking.”

K now will put himself in timeout occasionally. He’ll tell me he needs to calm down and goes to his bed. Learning self control isn’t easy. I’m proud of him when he calms himself down.

Kids have to learn how to negotiate and take no for an answer with out going crazy and inflicting harm on themselves, others, or household objects. It is much easier to start this process when they are young. Prevention and cure and all that.

A nicer K story:

We worked on the house we are renovating yesterday. K came with us to the “old house” and helped me prime what will be his bedroom. (Here help is defined as occasionally repainting things I had already painted and playing with his hammer and goggles.)

We eventually got tired of paint fumes and went outside to see what Daddy and our friend and pastor, Scott, were doing. He watched Daddy and Scott haul brush to the dumpster and quickly joined in.

Throwing a branch in the dumpster:


I love that he is getting to invest in our soon-to-be home. On the way to pick up sister (who is doing much better) he sleepily jabbered away.

“Look! There is Fort Worth! I can see the tall buildings! Where is Texas? Here Texas! You waiting at home Texas? Look we went under a train Mom! That is awesome! It is Thomas and Percy Dad! Can we ride that train Dad? I love Fort Worth.”

I love that kid, even when he really needs a time-out.

P.S. Thanks again for the prayers for E. She is eating well and hasn’t had a fever in over 24 hours. I think the antibiotics are doing the trick!

7 responses to “I don’t negotiate with terrorists

  1. glad to hear little E. is doing much better! 🙂

  2. cheddarpuff says:

    K talking about going under a train reminds me of when I was a kid….whenever we’d drive under a bridge with a moving train on it (which was often, as there was one across the highway on our way home), he would say, “We’re about to get run over by a train!” I always thought it was hilarious, and still do….and I still say it, whether I’m alone or with other people. Lol.

    Also, I’m very impressed with the fact that K has learned to put himself in timeout to calm himself down…that is an *excellent* life skill to have, and I’m proud of him and of you and Andy. Happy to hear the E is doing better, too. Love you all!

  3. cheddarpuff says:

    I just realized I didn’t specify who “he” was in the “we”…lol. It was my daddy. And yeah, it’s a shame when, after college, everyone moves away….but thankfully, we still have the internet! 🙂

  4. Your 1st story is really dead on. I like the way you refer to the negotiations, etc.

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